Margart Stimpert: Good question,,,,wow,,I will be very surprised. Very!
Katheryn Skrobacki: i would assume that he/she is with them and you have a problem you weren't prepared for
Virgil Loatman: be honest.. it can be interesting.. some things happen and u dont have any control on it.. but you realise later that it was the best moments.. tell me ur incident
Dee Depung: I'd be lost. Surprised. Devastated.Then I'd find him and kick his sorry butt. Then I'd get on with my life.Our marriage works because we love each other and need each other and want to be together. But we also know that either of us can live without the other if we have to.
Mel Crapo: I would do the "my husband left dance", LOL! I don't know...I would be heart broken but I would definatly be OK....
Rodolfo Merel: My husband is into porn. I did not know, or missed the signs. He wanted me because I was pretty. I would not sleep with him for years, but when he finally got me, I ! was disappointed. Not only that, he got me pregnant while in college. I was embarrassed because I was a virgin previously, and only slept with him because I loved him. He told me later he wanted children because everyone at work has children. Not only did he betray my self respect, but after getting me pregnant, he started treating me badly, like he doesn't owe me anything. Naively, I stayed in the relationship for 8 years before realizing this man is using me. 3 of those years he has been verbally abusing me. It started subtly, but has become a big problem .Here is my Problem List:* Not Respectful of me * Does not care about my feelings* If I am not dressed like a celebrity, he won't walk next to me (I have two young children, and am pregnant. He even insults my pregnant figure. Basically, we never go out.)* He is spiteful and uses my thoughts against me* Loves others more than me* Always finds an insult instead of a praiseThese are the reasons I stay:* My childre! n are happy* I don't want to lose/fight for custody of my chil! dren* My children have the care of their mother during the day* I think I will be more unhappy being away from my children all day and being too tired to take the best care of them when I get home from work. (I have done this before.)This is what I want:* To be happily married to a faithful, religious man, who would never hurt me or my childrenObstacle: * I don't believe in remarriageDoes anyone know how I can survive these next few years of hell until my children move out? I don't mind divorcing at that point, I would just stay single. I really would like male companionship, but I don't want it to be immoral. I am not sure if it is truly possible to have male friends, but I would appreciate having males around me who treat me with respect. Sometimes I forget I am a woman, because I get treated like a man by my spouse. He is very rough in talking to me.
Dick Maisenbacher: Either way, you're going to screw up your kids. If you stay together, unhappily, the kids a! re going to get a bad read off relationships. If you part, they get washed up in the turmoil. There's no winner in the situation of an unhappy marriage.However, most marriages end in divorce now and kids as a society are going to become more adaptable. When I was in elementary school, there was only one set of divorced parents in my class, or maybe two (I had the same class all through school). My daughter is in a class where the kids have blended families, divorced parents, single moms...all of it. I think that if handled properly, the divorce is the way to go. Or else you're telling your kid it's okay and normal to stay in a crappy relationship and cram your sad feelings way down for 'the sake' of someone else's calm. Who would want their kids to think that?...Show more
Javier Holsonback: I tried doing the same thing you are doing for a couple of years. My wife and I din't love each other, she had an affair or two, I didn't. We slept in separate rooms. Lik! e you, I didn't want to fight over custody. I was content with being u! nhappy in the situation I was in because I thought I would be even less happy if I didn't get to see my kids everyday. We finally split a little over a year ago. Custody hasn't been an issue - I have them the majority of the time. The last year has been the happiest of my life. Remember - for your kids - its better to be from a broken home than to live in one. Good luck.
Phillip Modafferi: I think that is up to the couple. Im old fashioned in that I believe you should give it everything you have before you quit, but sometimes that isnt enough. There are alot of kids who manage to get through their parents divorce okay. Its not easy, but it can be done. I do think also though that parents should keep it civil, if not for their sake, then for the childrens. They shouldnt have to pay for our mistakes.
Salvador Prchlik: i remember them boththe short term, he was a d-bag to me so we stopped talking... regret it because i think he used me anywayand longterm.. i a! lways remember him, i was with him for almost 3 years and i was in love with him so much then he got in jail and now is coming out and idk what to do cause i stopped talking to him too
Heidi Creselious: You always have control.
Vernita Robberson: Well, if the parents aren't going to get along and will be unhappy it is for the best, though it is a difficult transition for all involved.
Francisco Schonhardt: No,,It didn't happen to me Thank God....But I have seen stories here in YA like that.....I really think I would be devasted!!!!!!! But like all things in life I would have to go on.
Joaquin Dronko: I would be devastated! I love my husband more than words can say! But, I would get past it and eventually find me a woman to finish out my life with.
Davina David: some i remember very clearly and some i gotta think long and hard to remember ... it depends what had more meanign for u
Marti Declue: When I was hanging out with friends, and ende! d up meeting this hot, 27 yr old woman that was new in town. I ended up! just wanting to build a friendship, but in less than 2 days, I was already intimate with her. There was just this intense attraction between us, and I was wrong for it, but it happened. I couldn't stop myself from resisisting her. That was unbelievable because it was so unexpected.
Shelley Stevens: Divorces with kids are hard. When my brother and sister-in-law got divorced it really hurt their child. He had lots of issues and still has problems. I personally don't see anything wrong with divorces. I Just know that they are difficult for kids and it can be really hard for them to not understand why mommy and daddy don't like each other, or why mommy and daddy don't live together. The best thing to do is when you get a divorce (which is better than staying in a horrid marriage that wont work for the "sake of the kids" which only hurts them more) Is to try to have a normal separate parent relationship. By trying to stay friendly for the kids. Its better than staying in ! a hurting marriage....Show more
Joie Libutti: I think it's horribly sad.I'm watching my sister go through this right now. It's very very hard on my nephew. But....I always think of it as, he will be much happier with two happy parents that aren't together...then two parents that are together and miserble. That's no life for a child, in an loveless, unhappy home. I think that's more sad than divorce, actually.
Kenneth Blacker: Damn aliens.
Elden Dedon: Yeah. A long time ago, and lasted about a year. She was much younger than I was, and I had a lot of baggage. In the end, I let her go, because I loved her so much, and didn't want her to ruin her life by getting mixed up with me. I still regret that.We were very passionate, and she was reckless. I saw our relationship beginning to cause her to do things that weren't in her best interests. She had had goals, and plans. Towards the end, my guilt brought on a lot of problems, and we broke up. When she came ! back and asked to see me again, I refused. She was proud, and didn't l! et me see her cry. But I knew I hurt her. Of all the women I saw after her, including my wife, she was the only one I ever had an interesting conversation with. She was a thinker, and a dreamer. And I'm so happy that she finished school, and became a teacher, got married, and had two beautiful children.I haven't spoken with her since we broke up, and I don't intend to. My life is completely ****** up - hers is perfect. Why would I spoil that? It would be so sad.
Alane Antes: Dont ruin ur life for your kids plz dont cause they'l just throw it in ur face and say something like "we didnt tell u to stay with dad"!!!! but if u dont wanna leave him then, have this baby and stop having any more!!!!!! spend the next years till ur baby gets to school working on ur body n mind get ur confidence to the top!!!! and meanwhile start putting money aside in a private account...this shud keep u busy for a few years...it sounds like he enjoys pissing u off so be tolerant,, learn to l! augh at everything that will piss him off...n make u laugh more....once uv saved a fair bit...and kids go to school n uv been working out so ul be looking gud get ur self a job or do some home trainning get ur self a career and a life without the kids all the time...then leave his sorry ars treat him mean pay no attention act like u dont give a toss n mark my words he'l be crawling like a dog begging 4 u bak, men like him are easy hun they want wot they cant have n they have no love or respect for wot theyve got till its gone!!!
Julienne Poplawski: well you're being "immoral" as well, you're staying in a relationship that is abusive and unhealthy when you know its wrong. IF you really want to make this relationship grow into something good why don't you try counseling? maybe he'll get the picture. That's wonderful that you are watching out for your children. & getting remarried isn't a horrible thing. it's not your fault your cards got dealt with a crazy husband. it's! your life. don't you want to be happy? what are you going to do when y! our children move out? you're going to divorce and be alone for the rest of your life? how is it that you don't believe in remarriage, but you're quick for divorce? hmmm. something to ponder.
Neville Dautremont: It's extremely unfortunate.It's tough on kids and if it can be avoided at all it should be.
Lonnie Jehle: Man, did someone screw your head on backwards. You are like the poster child for how religions mess up human relationships. Try and give your kids some better advise about relationships than you have followed. sounds like you're a lost cause.
Monroe Rainey: I am not being physically abused, only verbally. I talked with my father about it after my husband refused to listen. It calmed down to passive-agressive comments. It is still not acceptable, but I ignore him, and it makes him mad. I am trying to keep the peace right now to see if we can live together peacefully, but I need friends. I had predominantly male friends before marriage. A! lot of those relationships are now with my spouse instead of me.I am scared to death of leaving. My parents stayed together, and I am not used to divorce. My oldest knows what is going on. I let her know what he is doing is wrong. I talk to her about making good decisions in dating and marriage, because I messed up. He is not a problem to the children, only to me. My current pregnancy is due to me trying to make it work. I honestly have not slept with my husband in at least a month, and plan to keep it that way. He cannot not get the best of me, while I get the worst of him.
Floyd Labuda: As you said for yourself, I too would be devastated. Until I confirmed that she had definitely and finally left me... I would be very worried.Once confirmed I would change the locks on the house and call an attorney to see about having her parental rights voided so that I wouldn't have to worry about her coming back and taking m'boys!Once the dust settled... I'd start lo! oking for a replacement.
Kip Ockenfels: If you get home today and! Your wife/husband is not there, no explanations given. No clothes are left behind. All their possesions gone,,,,Gone!!!
Ivan Velazquez: Every mother feels that way when they have to work but life goes by its own rules and you have to follow them. Why would you sit and take that kind of abuse in front of your children. All they are going to learn it that that is how you treat your spouse, and then they won't respect you bc he shows no signs of respecting you. They won't either. Get a back bone and get out of that situation. Hell, he will be the one to go. You may get alimony since you have the children and haven't worked. He'll have to pay child support and the bills too. Why would you stay in that kind of relationship when you can get out of it and be happy. You don't have to have a man in your life. You have 3 children. Be a mother. And have some self respect! Stop thinking about male friends and do your job. I can't even fathom looking at the next few years as hel! l and how can I survive them. That to me is crazy thinking. You are a college educated woman with looks, intelligence and alot of things going for you. You don' t have to survive him. You can get a separation, a lawyer, and make him pay to keep you and the children up like he's been doing all these years. A judge will make him do so until you can go to work if you choose to. Get that backbone and some self respect and be the type of person your children would be proud of. Not some whimpering beaten down abused woman.
Armando Somes: 1. Don't stay just for the kids. It's not good on them to see the disrespect/fighting and drama. 2. Seek a counselor or go to a Domestic Violence shelter. There you will recieve free counseling and they have resources available to help you get out of that relationship and stay out. They also may be able to provide you with living arrangements, furniture you name it. 3. Don't look for another relationship right after you leave this o! ne, that's jumping from the pot into the fire. And it's not good for y! ou or your KIDS. 4. Hire an attorney and sue for custody in your divorce. Again, counseling at the shelter will help you support the fact that you were in an abusive relationship and your kids don't need to be around this type of environment. 5. Pray. The only one that can truly help you is God. 6. Find a great support system, someone whom you can trust a friend, relative, counselor, pastor anyone who you can talk to when you need someone to just listen.
Jammie Taddei: That's a good question! I have no idea what I'd do. I wouldn't be feeling well at all though, I can assure you!
Nicolas Cooley: You do not need me to tell you this but I will: leave and start living your life! It is too short to spend with someone that you described. Come on, there is no love just lust and you are pregnant and beautiful- don't forget that!
Idell Dufort: i'm too lazy to have affairs in any respect anymore Even the quick-term ones take a brilliant expenditure of ! attempt and capacity that usually, in hindsight, could have been extra efficient spent, or shouldn't have been spent in any respect.
Donovan Stallons: I dont have any of them... no short term fling or no long term affair.... I always control myself well. lol.. thats put that together.. Im good girl.. lol
Caleb Chapman: I have realize that everything we do is a choice. We just sometimes react with emotions instead of logic. For me there was this guy once who was a good lover but I did not want to be with him in a relationship. I was in a relationship with someone else but I was young and did not know what being IN LOVE was. But I did love him but the other guy was just good in bed. Well this guy who I thought we had an understanding started asking me to come over more and where was I. He was not use to women not hounding him and I did not hound him. I realized that I made a mistake. Good sex yes, relationship with him no. I looked into my boyfriend face one day ! and he smiled at me and I felt horrible and ended it with this other gu! y. It was not a mistake because it was a choice to mess with the guy but I could have lost something priceless.
Phil Kuarez: Stop coming up with excuses and leave. Also, takes 2 to tango. I agree you married a jerk BUT 'you' had sex with him and 'you' decided to have unprotected sex that lead to your pregnancy so yes he's a user and abuser but at some point 'you' were responsible for going along with this user and abuser.
Gregg Hagge: It sucks. But, sometimes, it has to be done. I think it can actually be better to grow up with divorced parents than to grow up in a 2 parent family where the parents hate each other.
Danyell Rowback: I am divorced. It was hard on my children - two were teens and one was six. I was open with them and even though it was hard sometimes, they always came first. Their father and I are friends. That was really hard work - not to get caught up in the "you said, you did, it's you, you, you" stuff. My ex-husband and I were in ! counseling for 2 years before our divorce. Divorce was the final option and we both wanted to do all we could before getting to that point. The counseling helped us to be kind and compassionate when we finally separated. These are some of my thoughts on divorce....Show more
Luke Kosch: I'll probably gone wild...Call friends and families...and while I am all doing this, my tears are keep on flowing and asking myself... what went wrong.
Hai Biggart: my husband got divorced from his first marriage because he wanted his kids to see a healthy relationship, but with me he only believes in death do us part and I'm ok with that.
Marielle Hedeiros: dont have short term
Tana Dumoulin: There are plenty by my reckoning covering the first four parts of the Q, but i`m not so sure about the fifth. {Fun} many seem humourless. Although i thik i do qualify on all counts. Nice to know you are still in there rooting.
Samatha Nicar: Well...I actually did just th! at. I was married to an artist for nine months who, as it turned out, ! was not interested in domesticated life. His expectations were to continue to party the nights away and mine were not. I asked to go to marriage counseling every day for six months. Finally I gave up. Secretly I rented an apartment, furnished it by slowly moving everything of mine out of the house (un-noticed) and then on the big day, took all of my clothes/artwork/personal belongings and Never Looked Back.Two weeks later he finally caught up with me. THEN he wanted to go to counseling, begged/pleaded, involved his parents/friends, to get me back. I had moved on and was not about to go backwards. He is remarried with children that he adores but I have heard from a mutual friend that he treats his wife terribly. He is an extremely talented artist, and was extremely difficult to live with. I do not regret leaving him at all. Thank goodness we did not have children, because that changes the entire situation.Advice: Have a plan. Have a plan B. Prepare for all possibl! e outcomes. Be respectful. Don't do anything you will regret later.
Janeen Perona: I don't have kids, but divorce sucks. It took a long time for me to get over it. But if a marriage is falling apart and you've done everything you can do, then you gotta do it. Life is way too short to be wasted on being incredibly unhappy.
Oswaldo Rayburn: So whats you specific question?
Asa Soho: WOW .....I'd be soooo happy considering we're getting divorced!So what do u think my chances are?? Oh wait his sh*t is gone! YIPPIEE!!!
Sang Hanafin: Women in abusive marriages often have husbands who isolate them from their friends, tell them they are worthless, destroy property, keep unreasonable control over finances, threaten violence or physically injure them. Many women feel there is no hope for escape, but it is possible to leave.Take responsibility in accepting the fact that you are being abused.If possible, communicate with your husband that his abusiveness makes y! ou uneasy and you would like for the two of you to seek counseling toge! ther.Being abused by your husband is not an option. It is a sickness that can be prevented. Seek help from your ministry, hospital, support centers, and employment.Being abused is not a normal part of your life. It creates a controlled atmosphere for you and your children.If you are planning on leaving your abused husband make notations of times, days, and how you were abused.Take pictures of injuries you may incur during the abusive attack.A husband who is abusive has a mental problem that should be addressed with the appropriate authorities. Mental abuse is just as abusive as physical abuse. Leaving an abuser is not easy, but a peaceful mind and healthy atmosphere is important.Children exposed to this behavior is affected emotionally and physically. Abusiveness in a family may be the onset for Depression in a child's life.You are not the one who is to blame for your husbands abusiveness. Abusive husbands will normally say that you provoked them to act this way. Rejecting ! this message is the first step towards wellness and getting your life back.But until you leave there is no way to have male friends or any friends not to mention happy marriage
Clark Lachowski: Hi...Divorce should be seen only as LAST resort when counselling and everything else fails whether you have children or don't. You both need to be happy and move on with you lives.The difficult part is child custody and having equal time with kids. You hear so many stories of child custody going wrong where one parent does not have equal access and then tragedy occurs later which you don't want.All the best for the future....Show more
